To tip or not to tip is the question, and as much as the question is about if, it is about when and how. There is a time and place for most things in life and the same applies to tipping.
To find out why we dig deep into our pockets for the extra, it is interesting to find out where this tradition started. In Europe, tipping has been a way of rewarding servants for their hard work and efforts ever since the Middle Ages, and probably even before then. Without doubt, the silver pennies awarded for hard work would make a difference in the lives of the servants, and by the 18th century this tradition had become a norm, at least at the inns and guest houses. The tradition of leaving a tip for the staff at a country house has remained until today and this is particularly true when it comes to staff that personally attended to your whims and needs.
Not all of us are privileged to visit country homes with private butlers, but tipping extends to more professions related to service, and as much as we may think that we can’t go wrong with tipping, there are faux pas to avoid.
United States
Tipping started to become popular in the 1850’s. The elite travelled more and adopted this tradition from their travels to Europe where tipping was established. During the Gilded Age it was partly a way of showing off one’s wealth and class when America’s new aristocratic families emerged. Tipping was not always looked at as a positive, as it was deemed very un-American and added to the separation of classes and was sometimes interpreted as degrading.
Today, it is customary to tip in America. 10-20% of the bill is considered normal. Although optional, for anyone who has ever travelled or dined in America they will soon notice that it feels more of an obligation and a norm, and optional only in principle. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable in returning to a restaurant where you haven’t tipped, or would you hope not to be recognized if you do.
Europe
In the UK tipping is discretionary, as it is in most European countries, however discretionary is different to customary, and in Europe, the latter prevails. Barmen and waiters expect to be tipped in Europe, however if there is a service charge added to your restaurant bill, it is not considered rude not to tip. Showing your gratitude in high end hotels is common, and a 10-15% tip is standard. Bellboys and valets will expect some gratitude, and I advise you of leaving some change on the bedside table for the cleaners.
It is common in France, England and in the Scandinavian countries to round up the fees for a taxi fare. Scandinavians are expecting to be tipped in restaurants and bars.
There is no obligation, however there is an expectation to receive a tip. Scandinavians have a great welfare system, and high living standards, so unlike many countries where workers are depending on gratuities, Scandinavian’s are not. Despite this, tipping is the norm.
A larger company at dinner used to leave their share of a tip on the table, however, today the credit card machines have an option of leaving a tip, which simplifies it as we tend to lean towards a cashless society.
Australia and New Zealand
When dining in restaurants, the staff appreciates a tip wherever they offer a table service, and the amount depends on the sum of the bill.
China
Hong Kong and other destinations where Western travelers and diners are common will accept a tip, but a word of caution as in some places in China it could be considered rude to tip. Much of the dislike towards gratuities derives from the time around the communist revolution, where, similarly to the gilded age in America, tipping was deemed as an expression of capitalism. I would be careful in mainland China, and rest assured that service charges would be added to restaurant bills in finer dining places. Not tipping does not replace showing your gratitude by politeness and thanking the service providers for their excellent service.
Japan
Japan is virtually a tip free country. Japanese people are proud and the service they provide is taken seriously. The art of service is evident in Japan, and it is considered deeply offensive to offer tip in exchange of a service. This could seem odd to a Westerner, as we like to reward good service, and we feel obliged to leave a tip even when the service is mediocre at best. In a country like Japan that takes such pride in the service they offer; the standards are high and so deeply rooted in the culture that Japanese people do not regard gratuities as necessary.
Middle East
In Dubai, service charges are often added to the bill, but restaurant staff expect to be tipped around 10% on top. It is common to leave a few dirhams at cafés and lounges, round up a taxi bill, and leave tips for room attendants at hotels. In some Middle Eastern countries, tip, or baksheesh, is a norm. Tour guides live off tips, and good service is expected to be rewarded, however be mindful of how much you pay for a full day’s guided tour around the pyramids. It is always good to enquire with the front desk, after you tip him for the advice that is.
In Iraq, known for its hospitality and generous portions, it is common to get more than you order, and equally, you would want to reward this generosity with a good tip.
Relying on tips
Always be mindful of others, and remember that in many places and countries, such as Africa, people live on gratuity. Minimum wages are just that, minimal, and not necessarily enough to feed a family.
On cruise ships, gratuities are almost always added as a separate item to the cost. Cruise ships attract workers from many countries, many working away from their families for longer periods of time. Not giving a decent tip after the cruise to the staff who have looked after you would be utterly disappointing and almost insulting.
On chartered yachts, where your every whim is catered for, it is standard to tip between 5-15% of the base cost. This cost is recommended by the Worldwide Yachting Association, and a good reason for eager, reliable and hardworking people to join the yachting industry.
Tipping is not limited to service suppliers in restaurants, bars and hotels. Delivery drivers, hairdressers, barbers and valets are some of the people accepting your gratitude in the form of a tip.
Hitting the jackpot
The percentage method of tipping could turn out to be very beneficial for waiters and chefs. From reliable sources, I was told a story that took place at a company event in Dubai. Dubai is known for its many exclusive and equally expensive restaurants, and a larger company of stakeholders have been taken for a night out at one of them. At the end of the long dinner, using the company card, the staff were delighted to find out that the Director had hit the 20% tip button on a $30,000 bill. A good night’s worth of wages for the servers that night. We have all read stories or watched movies where a lucky waiter receives a proportionally large sum for their services. These stories always warm my heart.
The Delivery
How to tip should be carefully observed and cultural differences may give you some clues of how to leave your gratuities. Remember that you are not Mr Gatsby from the movie, and tipping is not a bribe. Your tip should be delivered discreetly and elegantly, not in a derogatory manner. Slipping in a note in a chest pocket with a tap on the shoulder does not exude elegance. In many countries, touching a woman is not accepted, so it could be better to leave the tip inside the bill, on the table after dining. In most cases, not offering a tip straight from your hand makes it less awkward. Asking someone to keep the change is better than taking the change and then distributing it.
Tip etiquette is about reading the room and avoiding blunders. Making people around you feel appreciated and comfortable, abiding by the social norms and rules of your environment will aid you in making the right decision of how and when to tip, and that said, remind yourself that showing appreciation is universal.
For more advice on etiquette, manners, interior design tips and how to live your life with grace, elegance and poise, read the book “Tea with the Dutchess: How to do anything with style” by Kate Gawi.
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